Most of us work from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, and that is about nine long hours of our day. That is how long we have to deal with our bosses, and unfortunately for some, it is a prolonged time of agony as they have to deal with their toxic bosses. Though we may not notice or give attention to how much our bosses play a vital role in our mental health, they are actually the people who have a significant impact on our happiness. They are not someone whom we can talk back to when we’ve had enough, ditch when we are pissed, or abandon when want to. We have to deal with them with all our patience and composure.
Here Are Five Ways On How You Can Deal With Your Toxic Boss:
- Keep in mind that you are an adult. You are not a child anymore, and dealing with a toxic boss should be handled with professionalism. “Toxic people are often competitive, negative, resist and even sabotage your growth and change. These people may have a number of motives.” Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. LCPC said. Therefore, just think of him as a challenge you need to pass. If you cannot deal with him, then you are not ready for anyone. Your workplace is the best training ground to help you learn how to get along with people, so you can just treat your boss as your ultimate challenge.
- “Nothing ruins self-esteem like surrounding yourself with people who abuse or neglect you,” says Karen R. Koenig, MEd, LCSW. However, never take his negative comments personally even when it is meant to be personal. If your boss is too insensitive and vulgar to utter unpleasant words to the extent that they are insults, never let them inside your head. Remember that they were like that even before you were around, so don’t make it all be about your delicate feelings.
- Your boss needs results, not excuses. Expect him to get disappointed whenever you cannot deliver. It is not him being inconsiderate, but you not being able to do what you were hired for.
- Your boss is also a human being. He certainly has a life outside of work which can be stressful too, and though it is not your problem and he shouldn’t be bringing it to work, that is his privilege as your boss.
- Never compete with your boss. If you believe you are far better than him, it is an undisclosed part of your job to keep it discreetly to yourself. It is okay to step up when you strongly feel you have to or when you have an idea that needs to be told, but never put it in a way where you will make him feel inferior. Always direct your point to impress him and contribute to the company and not putting yourself in the spotlight.
I realized all this with the help of counseling. I have been attending one ever since I felt that my career was falling to pieces because of my toxic boss. Yes, he can be a source of my stress that could lead to anxiety, depression, or fear. And though I always rant about how he makes me miserable, it is up to me to determine how much part he could take in my happiness, which is none. Remember, “If they push and don’t respect your boundary, then that’s a red flag. If they express disappointment, but understanding, then these are likely the people that like you for ‘you’ and not what you can do for them,” Erika Martinez, PsyD explains.
We cannot control our boss, but we can, for sure, control how we feel. Therefore, we can remain happy despite our toxic bosses, and it’s all about learning how to deal.